September 2022's Best Sex toys for the Penised 🍆🍆

Gender Critical Witch's list of Sex Toys for people with penises , prostates , testes & ball sack havers

On July 11, 2022 Cosmopolitan Released a Top 20 Best Sex Toys list referring to Women as “Vagina-Havers” Magazines Targeted to us are so humanizing and inclusive !!! YAY !

So it is only compassionate, inclusive and kind to have one for our Penised & Prostated Counter Parts !

PRESENTING : A Gender Critical Witch’s 2022's Best Sex toys for the Penised 🍆🍆

Shopping for sex toys can be oh so very, very , very HARD 🍆! There are so many fun toys that you can spend your hard earned cash on in order to pleasure your📦 . If you want to know where to begin, we have a handy guide that shows you all of the available toys because we know your 🐓 is super special !! 💖💖💖

Yep, we've got you covered: whether you are in to extraterrestrials, feet, bondage, anal play or need help keeping it up. Keep reading for the must-have sex toys for masturbation . Its just a matter of whatever tickles your 🥒

🛑Trigger Warning !!! Explicit Content Ahead !!!🛑

#1 👽 Flesh-light

A mysterious 👽 hole , looks & feels just like one too. A canal full of a vortex extraterrestrial texture . In case you have wanted to get it on with an 👽👾

#2 Fifty Shades of Grey Play Nice Satin and Lace Collar and Nipple Clamps

Because even people with prostates have nipples too! A nice Satin collar with soft silicone tips ! Only for the very best behaved prostate havers 💕

#3 Clone-A-Willy Glow in The Dark Vibrator Molding kit - 💚💖💜

We now have the technology to make a Glow in the dark replica of your Junk! You can gift it to your gals , guys , or nonbinary pals & I presume you can use it on yourself 🤔

#4 Miko Realistic Love Doll

Miko comes with 3 holes , all separate, inflatable breaststroke, soft and flexible hands & feet ,an air pump & repair kit!

#5 The Mechanical Penis Extender

Penis extenders have been a great solution for men with Erectile Dysfunction, Impotence , or Small 🥒’s who wish to perform better in bed 🛏!!

#6 A Care Package for your 📦

Throw your 🍆 a 🥳😉

This kit contains:

• A Penis Pump

• 🐓 Rings

• Stroker

• Bullet Vibrator

#7 Doggy-Style Debbie Vibrating Stroker

This one is just for you if you are an ass man ! She has got a spankable rubber 🍑 that vibrates ! You can do it 🐕 style while you both watch X Files !

#8 Anal Bleach With Vitamin C

This butt hole Bleach is gentle and made with Vitamin C and Aloe . It was designed to lighten areas and even the skin tone around your 🍑!

#9 Black Mesh Jock Strap

Dylan Mulvaney was right! Normalize the Bulge ! We are normalizing the Bulge ! You can wear this mesh jockstrap around the house while doing your laundry or watching the ball game 🏀⚽️⚾️🏈🏐

#10 Realistic Foot- Pocket Pussy

Its available on Amazon so you know its basically endorsed by Jeff Bezos! You can rub one out and get a foot job like never before!

#11 Knitted Minion Thong

Winter is coming! Keep your 🍆 warm with this hand knit Minion Thong. It can be custom ordered to be just your size 😉👌

#12 Blondie Pony Tail Butt Plug 🔌

Give Bo-jack Horseman a run for his money ! A plug that any Pony or Bronie would love!

#13 Stud 100 Male Desensitizing Gel

🛑 Stop disappointing your significant other! No guy , gal or nonbinary pal likes it when their prostated partner busts a nut in 1 minute 6 seconds 🕝

#14 Supercharged Vibrating Male Masturbation Kit

Comes with 3 Attachments and a thunder stick for the best male masturbation experience. It includes :

• An Anal Bead Attachment

• Prostate Massager

• A 🐓 head cup🥤

#15 Electric Urethral Sound

A 7 inch ⚡️probe to make your 🍆 light up 🎆

Food For Thought

Here is some food for thought in-case you made it trough this article without burning your eyeballs out. Women do not particularly enjoy being reduced to their genitals or referred to as “People with Vaginas” like the woke media & even Magazines targeted to us claim. This article was created to replicate a similar emotion in men by replacing the word man with ridiculous words such as “The Penised” or “ Good Prostate Havers”

Handle your 📦 With Care 💖